12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
