you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
