i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
