We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
