My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
