i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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