dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
where does the pee come out of this thing
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
