:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
