doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
