biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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