Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
