Plan B is the new Plan A
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
