You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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