i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
