I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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