When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
