let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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