K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
