when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
