On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
