Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
