I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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