yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
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Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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