yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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