I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
