You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
