Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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