Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
