He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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