Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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