Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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