I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
PANTIES FOUND
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