if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
