who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
