Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
