Your dad touched me again.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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