My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
