she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize