I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
