you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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