I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
