Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Sorry about my life...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
