So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
