OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
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If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
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you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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