a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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