does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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