BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
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no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
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Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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