$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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