just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
