hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?