Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
They have beer where we have blood.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
