she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
