Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
