i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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