you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
