I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
no more duck duck goose at the bar
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize
