how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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