I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
