I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
