dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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