Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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