Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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